Red Carnations from Mom on the ‘Other Side’

I’m re-posting this story about my losing my Mom last year for all you dears missing a loved one this holiday season.

Grief is an incredibly complex and difficult emotion to deal with, especially during what is supposed to be a happy time. It’s still unbelievably difficult not having her warm, cheerful voice at the other end of my phone calls. She does give me messages from time to time though. This gives me great comfort when I miss her so much.

May my experience provide some comfort for you. And please feel free to share your loss if it helps you heal.

I’m still wondering where we go when we die. While I don’t believe in one ‘true’ religion, I do believe in science and physics and the reality is, we are energy, and as Albert Einstein famously quoted, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” And so, I recently had a turning point in my faith in life after death.

I took my restless Boston Terrier for a much needed sunny stroll by the ocean at Rathtrevor Beach, my favourite place on earth. Ocean, forests, sand, sky—what’s not to love? After five days of rain and cloud, it didn’t disappoint. The tide was out so I could unleash the hound and she could chase her ball to her heart’s content, and inhale a bucketful of sand in the process. Ah, the ocean—a magical, healing place.


I thought about why I cherish forests and oceans. Indeed, nature lacks ego—it just is: the quiet strength of the trees; the healing negative ions of the ocean; the abundance of critters everywhere. It’s life at its most gentle, authentic, and spectacular.

Lily and I came to a bench that wasn’t occupied by the many other nature-lovers out and about, and happened to be placed in front of waves crashing ashore, a soothing sound I love. Only after sitting down did I glance to my right and notice a bouquet of flowers set upright between the slats of the bench. Upon closer inspection, I saw the flowers were wrapped in red paper, with red carnations inside.

My Mom just died and her favourite colour was red. Her favourite flowers were carnations—red ones. I instantly realized my departed Mom had just sent me flowers.

Now you can say that it was just a coincidence, that deceased people can’t send flowers, and that you can read meaning into anything. Or you can just think I’m grief-stricken, or crazy. No matter–I’m naturally skeptical too.

But—I’ve never in my 49 years stumbled across a brand new bouquet of flowers on a park bench. They could’ve been any other type or colour of flower, placed on any other bench. But someone left them there for me, for a reason. I chose to believe my Mom ‘arranged’ either for someone to forget them or leave them there in memory of someone else.

But wait; there’s more to the story. I wrote in my Mom’s eulogy the story about how she raised a neighbour’s runt pig on Carnation milk – and named that pig Carnation. So put that in your doubting pipe and smoke it.

I wasn’t going to take that bouquet of flowers. After all, they weren’t mine; or, were they? If I believed my Mom sent them to me, then they were. And I’d overdressed for cooler weather, and happened to have a very large scarf with me that I’d taken off. I smiled and happily wrapped that bouquet of flowers inside my scarf and they came back home with me.

Red Carnations from Mom

Mom has left me other messages since she left her pain body behind, and for that, I am most grateful. She lives on, just not in the way I was attached to her. I know Mom’s soul energy is out there sending me messages, not only because I’m looking for them. But because I believe we are all connected, even beyond death, when we eventually say goodbye to the body, mind, and heart.

And now I know Mom is free, and her spirit still carries her great sense of humour. Thank You Mom, for my flowers.

Red Carnations from Mom2

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean, in a drop.” Rumi


Author’s Note: Please find another published article on grief on my Links page. May it be of help.

15 thoughts on “Red Carnations from Mom on the ‘Other Side’

  1. What a beautiful message! I believe with you that your mother arranged for you to receive the gift of red carnations in that time and place you love. I’ve felt my parents’ presence since their deaths, particularly signs in the sky and rainbows from my father shortly after he died. Our parents’ love is powerful and eternal. Their energy is alive. That Einstein quote meant a lot to me back in my 20s when I was much more into science than religion. It gave me something to believe in then and now.

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  2. Rathtrevor Beach is one of my favorite stomping grounds when I lived in B.C and will see with my return in January of next year. Beautiful place and a place to commune with Gaia in all her fragility. The only way we will heal her wounds is by healing ourselves. I am a medium and yes the flowers were a sign of your mother still being alive after her earthly crossover. It just proves that life goes on and continues. You are also right that when we cross over we are energy We have shed our five senses but not our sixth and also our body which is no longer needed as we awaken and ascend to another life. Therefore Spirit which is all the spirits on the other side can and will influence people. Coincidences, accidents, and mistakes do not happen they all happen for a reason. We are all one and we are all part of the tapestry that joins humanity and people on the other side and who knows what is beyond. With the red carnation, you found them, the memory of her are all not a coincidence. It is orchestrated as a communication to you. My partner found flowers strewn across Piper’s Lagoon in Nanaimo. He said he thought about all the friends and family he had lost as he picked up the flowers, therefore, a collective message from Spirit. When he passed on two years ago I found a dried purple rose from that bouquet in his den. It accompanied him in Piper’s lagoon which went out to sea. We are never alone they are always with us as energy is everywhere through us around us. Energy is fluid. Our thoughts are energy as well. I can go on but I don’t write a novella. You are on the right track with your thoughts. Be well and keep smiling

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